A couple of random quickies (wahey!)

[Dom]

I’m in trouble with the wife. We were in bed naked and she asked what I would like to do most with her body. Apparently "identify it" wasn’t the right answer.


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I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do........... Then I remembered Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.


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You won’t hear from me for a while mate. Being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables........... I gotta lilo.


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Why men shouldn’t be Agony aunts:

Dear Phil,

I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn’t start. I walked back to my house and found my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter. They announced that the affair had been going on for two years. Can you help me...... I’m desperate.


Dear Reader,

The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps.

Phil.

[Steve Lampkins]

You owe me a click. I wasted a new tab on this shite.

[Dom]

I can't give you a click, I've gotta lilo.

ZING!