SEO experts

[net-curtains]

Some self styled SEO experts have just contacted one of my clients, offering advice to improve his Google Page Rank.

His website scores a reasonable 4/10 (good considering the lack of backlinks)

whereas theirs comes in at -2/10

I've never seen a minus score before, which must take a considerable amount of skill and expertise.

[Ben]

Love it, name and shame?

[orydian]

I love emails/calls like that. They usually say "Type these words into Google and we're on the first page!"

I say "Type this one word in".

ory.

[Tony]

I had a guy from BT trying to get me to sign up for their directories as 'my site is difficult to find' and getting myself in his directory would open up a whole world of interested customers. asked him how he found it to contact me, he said through google, asked him what search term he used, I was top of page 2, asked him where his directory was with the same search term - did flick through to about page ten but gave up. He hung up on me.

But it was a great opportunity

[net-curtains]

Love it, name and shame?

I would say do a quick search on Google for their site...but you'd probably never find it...

[Ben]

Love it, name and shame?

Is a good point!

I would say do a quick search on Google for their site...but you'd probably never find it...

[Haze]

They didn't have 2 Fs in their title did they....? The one that poached one of my customers did, and the amount of spam I am getting  (well was getting, now I need sender email addresses confirmed for whitelisting) was ridiculous.

[net-curtains]

They didn't have 2 Fs in their title did they....?

Not in their real one, but there are several in the one I've made up for them.

[Haze]

 

[net-curtains]

Yet another 'website review' passed to me today written by some cock with a table based pile of scrank, bottom feeding their way across the internet devouring stupid, gullible, drooling website owners.

Yeah, by all means, take their advice and watch your website slip from view. I can rebuild your website using tables and frames, and use Comic Sans (image based, naturally) for your headings. I can also show you how to amalgamate your debts into one, massive monthly repayment and offer top dollar for your 'unwanted gold'.

[robwhizz]

I can rebuild your website using tables and frames, and use Comic Sans (image based, naturally) for your headings. I can also show you how to amalgamate your debts into one, massive monthly repayment and offer top dollar for your 'unwanted gold'.

Hmmmm. I need a logo for my new business too. If you can all of that for £20 then you've got yourself a client (obviously we'll negotiate the gold separately as soon as I can pry the last 6 sovereigns off my fingers).

[net-curtains]

Hmmmm. I need a logo for my new business too. If you can all of that for £20 then you've got yourself a client (obviously we'll negotiate the gold separately as soon as I can pry the last 6 sovereigns off my fingers).

I'll amalgamate all your design debts into one easily manageable lump of gold.



Talking of which, I've just had another one of these blessed web reviews through, this time for my own site:

"Dear Info,"

...nice touch that, immediately makes me feel special....
 
"If you want to make more money with your online
business, you need more online customers."

...all making sense so far, you're obviously a marketing genius, so I might take you up on this one and give you all my money for some keyword tweaking frenzy...


"We think we can help.  Email us today for a no-cost site analsis."

...you've lost me again there Carol...

[Haze]

 and use Comic Sans (image based, naturally) for your headings.

I've just done a very simple site for an existing client using Comic sans, and despite trying to persuade him not to use it, he was not to be swayed. And any design I sent was too "American"..... oh well, I am sure he'll be swayed by the SEO jocks out there....