Couple of emails received over the past few months. I don't seem to get sent jokes as such any more, just these bizarre things:
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A Primary School teacher had twenty-six children in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by Primary School children. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses
until they stop running.
2. Strike while the
wasp is close.
3. It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time..
4. Never underestimate the power of
termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but
How? 6. Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.
7. No news is
impossible 8. A miss is as good as a
Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new
Maths 10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning..
11. Love all, trust
me.
12. The pen is mightier than the
pigs.
13. An idle mind is
the best way to relax 14. Where there's smoke there's
pollution.
15. Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is
not much.
17. Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you
put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder .
21. Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded. 22. If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries. 23. You get out of something only what you
See in the picture on the box 24. When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way. 25. A bird in the hand is
going to poop on you. And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than
Pregnant -----------------
The Theory of Intelligence
I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this .
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
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Sorry, I'll try harder next time
