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yawner
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« on: December 16, 2008, 08:29:20 PM » |
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oh yes
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2008, 08:29:48 PM » |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2008, 08:30:24 PM » |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2008, 08:30:57 PM » |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2008, 08:33:34 PM » |
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usual background for the uninitiated: If anyone here STILL isn`t in on this - every year at xmas my ex-wife sends me an impersonal photocopied 'family newsletter'. The contents of which always remind me why we got divorced in the first place. A search on "newsletter" on the old DDN forum willl very quickly bring you up to speed.
Just so everyone gets the best out of the latest missive, a small pen picture of each of the main protagonists:
Ex MIL (mother in law) - Really thinks she's something, when she's not. This largely stems from the family living in Africa (Zambia, Rhodesia and South Africa IIRC) for a large part of the 1960s up until about 1972. This meant the family always had black servants running around after them, a private pool to swim in, and a nice house. All provided with the job by the company he worked for, they didn`t actually 'own' any of it. She was used to being 'mistress of the house' while he (ex FIL now deceased) used to see the family as part of The Master Race. "The black man sees the white man as his natural mentor". I actually witnessed him say this once.
Ex BIL (brother in law) - The above illusions of superiority were instilled in the BIL. He was (is) your typical acTOR. Me me me me me me me me. How he fascinated me with his tales of growing up in Africa. His acting school experiences. He knew Sheena Easton (who?) before she was famous doncha know. One of the last times I ever saw him, he eagerly thrust a tatty scrapbook into my hand. Yes! This was his latest project - his LIFE STORY complete with photographs. He stood over me as feigned interest and flicked through the pages and badly spelt prose. He always had stacks of jobs "in the pipeline", but the highest profile role I ever saw him in was a member of the chorus for Babes in The Wood panto with Les Dawson. To be fair, I saw him in a couple of small productions and he was, quite good - but this consideration was always soon extinguished by his overbearing arrogance and self obsession. He once wrote a letter to wife1 saying he was in our area next week "and would be delighted to stay with us".
"WHY CAN'T HE WAIT UNTIL HE'S FEKKING ASKED?".
He was always treated like the heir to the throne by wife1 and exMIL, he in turn, treated them (and me) like serfs. It was, after all. how he'd been brought up. He was always destined for great things. I had no doubt that if/when he became famous he'd disown the lot of us.
He repaid all this devotion by letting his mother down time after time.
Every Christmas he'd promise his mum he'd come home to her and join in "the festivities". Every Christmas he'd find a last minute reason to stay away. This broke his mothers heart, but she would still believe his cheap excuses, and be reassured of his promises to make things up "next year". A consumate self-centered swine.
Wife1 (ex wife) - Was in complete awe of her sodding twat of a brother. He could do NO WRONG. He used to come and be waited on hand and foot - she'd never do that for me! She even let him read a piece at our wedding acTOR-stylee, much against my wishes. I was never the clean cut yes-man she yearned for. She even made me save up 4 months wages for a innapropriate ridiculously expensive engagement ring. Seemed like a fortune at the time, and I nearly spent the money on a Kawasaki 650. If only I had....
I went through the motions of wearing all the awful clothes she bought for me for a few years, and then decided enough was enough. Basically we were never right for each other, but her adoration of her brother brought that into sharp relief. and we're off |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2008, 08:46:12 PM » |
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True to form its PHENOMENALLY dull, but I think its the depth of dullness which creases me up every year. First para: As you can see we have finally moved from Oxfordshire. We moved on 8th October and two months on we're still in a muddle, fortunately we've a bigger garage to store the many boxes we still have to open. These days garages seem to be used not for what they're really intended ie cars We haven't met for over 10 years, every year a brief newsletter, you would think she could come up with something other than THIS ABSOLUTE DRIVEL for an opening paragraph. Like I (or any other recipient of her newsletter) could GIVE A poo about her garage. She's getting worse. More later - I need to eat. |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2008, 09:05:22 PM » |
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I mean its not only the OVERBEARING DULLNESS of it all, its the way she feels the need to say: ie cars like she's the only person who's figured out what garages were originally intended for... I must eat |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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yawner
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« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2008, 09:21:19 PM » |
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Loving your build up.
Oh Kim that takes me back  I really must eat |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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Jeewhizz
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« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2008, 09:54:36 PM » |
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More more more more more more! Or i get rick out....  |
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yawner
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« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2008, 01:13:37 AM » |
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I must say though, that you have put more work into the intro than she probably has in the letter
I guess thats because you all mean more to me than I ever did to her  full up now |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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Mr Anderson
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« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2008, 01:25:20 AM » |
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full up now
You must be about ready for another installment then  |
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yawner
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« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2008, 01:32:57 AM » |
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full up now
You must be about ready for another installment then now now Dave, lets not rush things sleepy now |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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Jeewhizz
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« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2008, 12:14:25 PM » |
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Is yawner still alive?
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rutty
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« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2008, 12:15:52 PM » |
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Maybe ex-Mrs Y added some Anthrax into the envelope  |
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yawner
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« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2008, 12:54:30 PM » |
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crikey you're an impatient lot - some of us are busy bees you know - next installment coming very soon
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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SLEE
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« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2008, 12:55:42 PM » |
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maybe he got an extreme papercut
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Shirker
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« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2008, 01:00:32 PM » |
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Or i get rick out.... Please tell me that's not what you call it?  |
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Toxteth OGrady
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« Reply #22 on: December 17, 2008, 02:16:48 PM » |
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I was half expecting to see your name in the Torygraph letters page, with all the missives about xmas newsletters recently. |
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 It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious I don't mean to sound cold, cruel or vicious but I am so that's the way it comes out |
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yawner
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« Reply #23 on: December 17, 2008, 02:27:38 PM » |
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She's been looking for a new place to live near Brum: Solihull was ideal, just a 10 minutes drive to work, and would have been a suitable place to buy.... ......but anyway for me it was a bit too "suburbia" despite all the excellent local amenities. What on EARTH does that mean?? A bit too bloody "surburbia"  Snooty cow, the place sounds fantastic. What do you think Kim - would you snub a place because it was too "suburbia" Would anybody?? I think in reality the area was probably too expensive for her, but she would NEVER say such a vulgar thing. She really needs a kick up her toffee-nosed bum - but then she always did. Another thing - see how she always refers to "me" as opposed to "us". It was ever thus.  |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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Toxteth OGrady
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« Reply #24 on: December 17, 2008, 02:32:24 PM » |
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Is Solihull in the Black Country? Maybe that was her problem.
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It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious I don't mean to sound cold, cruel or vicious but I am so that's the way it comes out |
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yawner
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« Reply #25 on: December 17, 2008, 02:38:26 PM » |
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Is Solihull in the Black Country? Maybe that was her problem.
her parents were rampant racists |
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"Far less of a c*** than you used to be" - Mrs Y
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Shirker
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« Reply #26 on: December 17, 2008, 03:03:07 PM » |
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sickpuppy
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« Reply #27 on: December 17, 2008, 03:31:10 PM » |
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She's been looking for a new place to live near Brum: Solihull was ideal, just a 10 minutes drive to work, and would have been a suitable place to buy.... Solihull would have been ideal. It's full of stuck up middle-class curtain twitchers. |
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Matt
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« Reply #28 on: December 17, 2008, 04:04:32 PM » |
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She's been looking for a new place to live near Brum: Solihull was ideal, just a 10 minutes drive to work, and would have been a suitable place to buy.... Solihull would have been ideal. It's full of stuck up middle-class curtain twitchers. WHS Solihull would have been spot on. |
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kimpossible
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« Reply #29 on: December 17, 2008, 07:13:34 PM » |
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OK if Solihull is too "suburbia"? (WTF?) for her where did she move? What is "too suburbia" anyway FFS?
C'mon, we need more...........
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